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Bearing in mind that this was only our second time playing in front of more than one person (the first being a three song set @ the Marrs Bar, Worcester on an open mic night on Wednesday 6th - in which we seemed to go down well despite 'technical difficulties') you may imagine how naive we were about the whole gigging thing. We really needed some expert guidance from people in the know, ha ha! If only we'd known in advance...
We
were the 3rd band on a list of 4, although we really should have been on the
bottom of the list. Headliners Alice Loves Picasso didn't show, we knew this
in advance as did the guy organising the bands (I'd unwittingly told him) but
for some reason he didn't bother to confirm this, therefore on the night of
the gig the other people involved in the charity had no idea about it. Stone's
Throw were the second band, and when it started to get late someone called them
and their van had apparently ran out of petrol. Half an hour later and they'd
decided they weren't coming. This is at least what we were told on the evening.
Stone's Throw's version of events is somewhat different, it involved them not
actually being told that the gig had moved from Friday to Saturday at the last
minute, this would make sense as 'organisation' wasn't really a key word with
this event. The last band on the list didn't show either.
So, we were stuck in The Punchbowl on an estate in Ronkswood, Worcester with all our equipment already inside, people (who had paid £1.50) waiting for someone to play. Well, that's all fine you might think, Meg can steal the glory!
But, er...
1) We were supposed to be playing on one of the other bands drumkits
2) either the organiser had forgotten to lay on proper PA / mics etc. or another band was going to supply it (we didn't know, all we knew was 'Oh, that's all in hand' sort of thing)
3) Four batteries sold to me from the Market in Merry Hill were dead. Fucking dead! So, no effects either! Although, in retrospect, I must confess I'm not sure whether I had the amp connected on the input side of the pedal chain and the guitar on the output side! This would explain the symptoms I experienced.
So, no drums and one very pissed
off Tom. No Mic so, hmmmmmmmmm, drumless instrumentals........? Yep. We did
Lullaby Trial which was okay. Matt's Keyboard Thing which was outrageously bad
witho
ut
drums and lastly Jet Set Willy. JSW with no vocals??? Ahhhhhh, but by this time
the compere had stumbled on the idea of using a long mic lead and (oh yes) actually
standing there holding the mic for me. That was so funny!!! I guess we looked
pretty miserable up there though. Allan (who, like Tom, was also seriously miffed)
and I pulled a few silly faces at each other, I managed to put Matt off by talking
to him mid set. Matt and I actually found the whole thing quite amusing although
whether this amusement actually transferred itself onto our faces is another
matter.
We
had been waiting for the drums to arrive before doing Meg's first public soundcheck
ever. In their absence we didn't bother to spend much time on this. I felt that's
Matt's keyboard was rather quiet, but the mix wasn't too bad during the nice
clean, tinkly main bulk of Lullaby Trial. For the end section I have the pleasure
of selecting a nice distorted noise for the first time in the set. At this point
it became apparent that I had set up my levels thus : clean - loudish, distorted
- nuclear warfare! God, it was loud. I turned down initially but turned it back
up soon afterwards reasoning that if we were going to be bad we may as well
be ridiculously loud too. Noise annoys!
Oh well, we needed someone to help us through our first gig and nobody seemed to have a clue what to do, including us. So we finished, I managed to pick out a winning raffle ticket for Alex, Allan's lass (a Teddy Bear with a tie in case you were wondering) and we all scarped.
We managed to get back into the Tap House in Kiddy for a quick pint afterwards, where it was clear that Me and Matt were in the Happy, Amused Camp (but still a bit pissed off) and Allan and Tom were in the Heads Will Roll Camp.
There is a fine line between helping out and making an utter arse of yourself, but not so fine that we didn't realise that we had stood firmly in both states that night.
If only we'd taken a video camera we could've sold the footage and retired on the proceeds. Spinal Tap V.2!
Special
thanks to our friends who made the effort to travel and see us, Lenore from
as far as Canton, Ohio! And thanks to the local audience who didn't kill us,
which was very generous considering the spectacle. I think they were just glad
they could have the disco back on when we stopped. Thanks to the organisers
of the event who promised to come and see us at the Taphouse the following Tuesday
but didn't show anyway. Most of all, ahhhhhhhhhhhh, thanks to you for reading
all of this till the bitter end.
Luv,
Rob
